I had a lot on my mind this morning. Last night I had to make the heart-wrenching trip to the airport to send my husband back to California – without us. I had no idea when we would see each other again: if we were lucky, it could be a few weeks. Yet in all likelihood, it could easily be a few months. I hoped for the former but had no guarantees either way.
This morning I was dragging my feet, trying to overcome this perpetual sadness, and, attempting to at least, scheming out how to best use the limited time I had left in the Midwest.
I had been planning in my head everything that needed to be done – from cataloging library books of my mom’s to borrow, to cleaning out the basement, updating information on credit cards, selling things on ebay to earn some extra cash, writing dozens of thank-you notes, spending time with friends one last time, and much, much more. The many odds and ends, plus the big things (still don’t have a detailed plan of this year’s curriculum and still have to finish packing) could easily take six months or more.
Then I got a call around lunchtime that the paperwork had been turned in, and the expected waiting period was four months (on-base military housing is based on availability). The scheming still was going on in my head and sat down at my computer to write a “back to school” post telling of all the activities we were going to be back at again – finally, after all these weeks of sporadic, non-routine. The apple orchard. The field museum (ancient history). The planetarium. Lots of fun science and art activities. Reading and math plans. And a dozen other things I had in mind to do. Plus all the organizing, cleaning, planning. I wasn’t looking forward to the weeks that lay ahead (the separation part at least) but, knew that there were a lot of things that needed to be put in order between now and then.
Two hours later, however, I got another call. The house will be ready as of this weekend. This weekend.
That was the happiest, most exciting, scary, best and worst news I had ever heard!
I was overwhelmingly excited and overjoyed but at the same time, a little scared. How was I going to get everything done? What about all the people that I had planned to say goodbye to? It wasn’t like I was going on vacation and could take care of it when I got back. This was – more or less – forever.
In coming to terms with this new reality I was forced to realize that, even in my attempt to elaborately plan, organize, and manage every detail of life, anything can happen. And as saith the proverb, “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.”
As is our life now. You never know what the next day will bring. Is it scary? Yes. But at the same time, peaceful, relieving, and freeing. I have no clue how I am going to get everything done but, there is peace in knowing that everything will end up working out. “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.”
“Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? … But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself…”
Hunter is 4 years, 5 months old